Protocols
Protocols
A group of Jews endeavors towards total domination of the blogosphere.


Friday, October 10, 2003  

TPM:

...anti-tax activist Grover Norquist, who is a close advisor to President Bush and Karl Rove, compared the Estate Tax to Nazi persecution of the Jews during the Holocaust. Not kinda sorta. He really did.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 3:19 PM |
 

Jonathan Edelstein, the Head Heeb, is guest-blogging for Allison Kaplan Sommer, and kicks it off with a nifty post on Jewish superheroes.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 1:22 PM |
 

A friend of mine just asked me to help him find information on military rankings, because of the oft-heard assertion that Israel is the fourth-ranked military in the world. "Ranked how" always seemed a relevant question, but one I'd never pursued. Some Google searches turn up what appears to be a figure oft-cited by anti-Israel/pro-Palestinian groups, and, of course, the Tikkun folks. The most credible news source on the first page is Mother Jones, which presents the very different factoid, "Israel is nonetheless the fourth-largest recipient of weapons from the U.S." Look at the actual sizes of military budgets and Israel ranks very low. Where does this idea come from?

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 1:13 PM |
 

When do you know you're on the extreme right? When you think it odd that opinions to the left of Natan Sharansky and Bibi Netanyahu are part of college-campus discourse, which is the impetus for a front-page story in this week's Jewish Week by Jonathan Mark. But while that aspect is idiocy, his inability to assume a strong intellectual mindset amongst the student body is insulting:

A student, particularly one new to the Israel issue, might have a hard time sorting through the diversity.
Please.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 12:39 PM |
 

Speaking of respected commentators, Gregg Easterbrook is one of the most credible on religious issues. A generally admired commentator and journalist, with an extreme range of topics on which he possesses a deep understanding, Easterbrook chooses to write every so often on religion, never disappointing. He's now weighed in on The Passion, raising the bar for everyone who wants to talk about it hereafter. This is another upcoming Jewish Ombudsman for me, and I've yet to really examine all the relevant sources, so I'll hold off on comment for a bit, but be sure to read Easterbrook before you have another word on Gibson.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 12:35 PM |
 

Daniel Pipes is one of the most capable commentators on the Middle East, given his huge breadth of knowledge and his ability to exercise the various media he chooses; the only problems are that his conclusions take illogical leaps and that because of his unique standing he often presents issues in relation to him as opposed to a more universal context. I was waiting to see if he had something to say upon Edward Said's passing, and only recently did he get around to the topic, by highlighting an obit from someone who Pipes has had words with. Of course, the post ends up being self-referential, and the points made by the eulogist aren't addressed, because thanks to the illogical leaping, we're just supposed to assume the guy's wrong.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 12:28 PM |
 

Jewish schools often want to keep the latest technology out of their classrooms, no matter how spurious the argument; now they've got one against WiFi.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 12:21 PM |
 

A succah senryu:

Funky eating time,
Dining in tents, so intense.
Tabernacular.
(SIW)

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:57 AM |
 

Religion in the new TV show, "Joan of Arcadia".

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:15 AM |
 

You know, I'm worried. What if this ruins my shidduch chances?
I know, I'll put out a personal. I'm straight, I promise!
SJM FD (future doctor), seeking Well-read, intellectual W (S a plus, J optional) for long fireside chats on Hasidut and Literature. Tolerance for my vampiric study habits a MUST. Non-Yiddish speakers need not apply. Send at least 3 rabbinic references to paradox137@aol.com.

posted by Anonymous | 12:27 AM |
 

Apparently, my wild and crazy past is coming back to haunt me.
Oh no! What if I caught gay?

posted by Anonymous | 12:14 AM |


Thursday, October 09, 2003  

I just noticed that our bravenet counter broke the 75,000 mark today. Who'd ever have thought?

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 11:38 PM |
 

From the Annals of Lower Education:

This is quite possibly both the most disturbing and the funniest thing I've read from the Haredi world in the past year.


I don't know where to start, so I'll let you all be the judges. I'll post one particularly priceless section (and there are so many more, read it I urge you):

"The boys were eating their lunch, deeply engrossed in the subject. A subject which crops up in each class at some time or other and leads to gross exaggeration and bravado. For some reason, the boys feel the more disgust they evince, the finer their feelings. I was just going to leave the room (after all, my recess is no longer than theirs), when I heard a too-well-known voice rise above all the others. "If anyone has bitten into anything or started eating from something, I could never touch it. It sickens me." Faces contorted in disgust and heads nodded in agreement. For one rare moment, Yanky felt at one with the group, and that he had said something interesting.

Then I stole his thunder and spoiled the show. "I agree that if a goy has started something, I couldn't eat it. But if a Yid, made in the image of Hashem, has eaten from it, why should that sicken me? He is my brother, it is as if I, myself, had started the food, let's say, an apple."

Thirty pairs of eyes gazed at me, wondering when I had crawled out of the woodwork. Twenty-nine faces showed astonishment, and then agreement with my statement. Yanky Segal did not speak. He took an apple out of his satchel, made a brocha and stared biting all the way round, making quite sure that there was no place unbitten. Then for good measure, he licked the thing all over, came towards me and handed me his apple. He was going to call my bluff. He knew full well that my deeds would not fit my words. It was impossible that a teacher could eat what he, Yanky, had bitten, let alone licked."



Oh, the drama. The suspense. The sweat-inducing cliffhanger nature of the moment. Will Morah Shpitzer eat the apple? Will the wicked Yanky be confounded?

Read it and see for yourselves...

posted by Anonymous | 5:50 PM |
 

Andrew Silow-Carroll responds to a post about J-blogs v. J-weeklies in his column at the New Jersey Jewish News. Before responding, I'll concede something:

We ink-stained wretches at NJJN were the first to report that a national pro-Palestinian conference at Rutgers University had been relocated to Ohio State; weeks later “Protocols” was still urging readers to come to New Brunswick and protest the event.
While technically untrue (I wasn't urging people to go, I was asking if people would), that slap really does sting. I feel like a jackass not only for that post, but because I still didn't know until I read his column. This poses a big problem for blogs because no one in our audience caught our error in the several weeks since the post -- and all that interaction is supposed to be our guarantee of better fact-checking than the newspapers. This really has me at a loss for words...
Until I go to the divestment conference website and see the following splashed across the front page:
VENUE ANNOUNCEMENT!
The conference is being held at:
Ramada Inn & Conference Center
999 US Route 1 South
North Brunswick, NJ
Now, I didn't read the original NJJN story (in large part because it wasn't on the Web), but I'd like some clarification from Silow-Carroll on this, because it seems like his J-weekly is actually wrong on this question of fact.
Of course, I take much larger offense at the fact that he gets my name wrong, but such is life.
Throughout the column, Silow-Carroll has little bad to say about blogs, and seems generally to be admiring of Protocols specifically -- which I can certainly agree with. Eventually, he tries to argue his way back to the relevance of J-weeklies, though, and therein he writes:
A newspaper is more than a series of arguments that scroll down a computer screen. It’s news, and opinion, and wedding announcements, and calendars, and photos, and coupons, and advertisements, and public service features. (Blogs boast they can offer all of these things, but just try cutting out a Web page and sticking it on your fridge.)
Blogs, to some degree, have the first two covered. The third is covered by what is probably the most-viewed Jewish site, OnlySimchas, and the rest could just as easily -- and probably more effectively -- be on a continually-updated site. Some of these you'd want to see in a more local context, and certainly websites are capable of doing that if they haven't yet. Check out Jeff Jarvis' "hyperlocal blogging" experiment, as well as the local Yahoo!s, to see how this begins to work.
The rest of his argument says that editors are worth something -- certainly an arguable assertion, especially at small publications like J-weeklies, where they're more like writers with editing duties -- and that we need the journalists doing the actual reporting. To this latter point, I raise the question: what's the difference between a beat reporter for a J-weekly and one of the Elders? Elders don't do it for a day job.
There's a lot more ground to cover here, certainly, and I do intend to get to it in an upcoming "Jewish Ombudsman" for Jewsweek. But for the moment, consider this: I just informed my entire readership of a relevant article and responded to it in the space of roughly twenty minutes, all while chomping on some challah and chummus, setting my clock, and sorting some things in my room. Silow-Carroll wouldn't get to have the next word until a week from now...so why isn't he blogging?
UPDATE: Once again, I am the jackass: I just started surfing around the NJJN's new site, and their front page story is about the conference and the location issues. Now, the question about who's wrong on this is more about who's less wrong and more right. All along, I thought we were tracking the local group (indeed, that's what I've been tracking). I'll call it a split decision, leaning in my favor since I only intended to discuss the local aspects of it.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 5:45 PM |
 

Just check out all the heated, serious discussions currently raging across protocols. Wow. What better way to cool off, though, than the Jewish Press letters section! And what a week it is. Most of the section is dominated by Ed Koch, who submits a series of letters he exchanged with a far-leftist (blah) and some other political stuff (blah). Fortuantely, Dr. Yaakov Stern saves the day with another Stupid Letter Of the Week winning screed. His target this week? Singles. Check it out:

Kudos to the “Im Yirtzeh Hashem” column for placing the onus of the singles crisis right where it belongs — on the shoulders of singles themselves. For years we`ve heard of unscrupulous shadchanim and uncaring acquaintances who turn deaf ears to their plight, but it`s all a bunch of hooey. Any person trapped in the singles conundrum is there by his or her own doing and can extricate himself or herself with the proper hishtadlus.
...
The basic problem for the Orthodox single is confusion. On the one hand, he/she wants to please the family. Generally this means making the safe choice — good provider, proper pedigree etc. On the other hand, he/she wants his/her friends to be impressed with his/her selection. Singles often describe their "ideal "mate and feel it necessary to make this fantasy real, lest they be accused of, Heaven forbid, “settling.” Finally, he/she often sublimates his/her own desires, fearing public scorn. For those of you keeping score, that`s at least one hand too many.
So what`s the answer? I believe that in a perfect world Jews would marry to fulfill the Creator`s wishes, but since we are not living in a perfect world, let`s be pragmatic. The first step for any single is to decide whether or not he/she wants to be married. There is a difference between being single and being "a single." The former is a situation, the latter a lifestyle. Most people with honest introspection can determine the category to which they belong. If one discovers that the prospect of marriage is unappealing, let him/her leave the market. There are too many narcissists who love being doted on by shadchanim who never tire of telling them how impressed they are with their externals.
Assuming a sincere desire to wed, one must decide what he/she wants in a spouse. Forget your friends — and I mean that literally, because after the wedding you will likely develop new associations. Forget your family, because while they may have your best interests in mind, their values are often outdated products of their own life experiences.
By the process of elimination, you must decide what you are looking for. This can be a difficult process for an Orthodox Jew. For example, a young lady with the proper Bais Yaakov background would have a hard time admitting to herself, much more to others, that she is basically attracted to the physical. But to thine own self be true. Once one recognizes his/her type, he/she must decide how to go about capturing the object of his/her affection.
Let`s assume we`re dealing with a fellow preoccupied with looks. He is forthright with the shadchan, who then tries to dissuade him. I would advise the fellow to tell this shadchan that he knows what he wants and is willing to make allowances in other areas. This might involve accepting a woman deemed less desirable by societal standards. Is that “settling”? Perhaps, but it is creative because you end up with what you really want, or at least what you want at the time.
I`m not naive enough to believe that these humble words can instigate change, but they are heartfelt. And you know what our Sages say: It`s not good for man to be alone. That`s all we need to know. Now get with the program.
Well, where to begin? I have no idea. This one could take weeks to get over...

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 5:06 PM |
 

Fifth-century synagogue found in Albania, story found by Mystical Politics.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 4:48 PM |
 

Good Haaretz analysis of the Misrad hadatut imbroglio going on in the government this week.

I take exception to Verter's assertion that Mafdal has become a party of rabbis as opposed to a party of settlers. Disingenuous, no? One vote on the Road map does not an ideological sea change make - especially a vote that turned out to have few practical consequenses.
He maintains that their threat to leave the government is idle - and if that is the case then shouldn't it suggest that they're not entirely serious on religious issues?
Let's see if they pull out, after all. I doubt they will.

His analysis of the Likud jockeying seems dead on, though.

back to immunology.....

posted by Anonymous | 1:13 PM |
 

Since I've gotten a ton of requests from people to see the film of Trembling, I'm willing to consider a small screening in my rather large room. Perhaps we can have a Protocols-style discussion afterwards, perhaps others can bring popcorn. Comment here or IM me if interested.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:49 AM |


Wednesday, October 08, 2003  

Oh. My. God.
I'm watching the Special Features on the Trembling DVD, and seeing some familiar faces. I've just begun the part called "Featurette -- Trembling on the Road," which is kind of a documentary that follows the documentary -- the people who watched it, made it, etc. And then, I see on my screen a face I don't think I've seen since at least 2001, of Mordechai Levovitz. Levovitz was notorious at Yeshiva University for many reasons, perhaps in small part because some people would talk about his possibly being gay -- a lot of people just thought he was pretending. An interesting character, he most certainly was. Some of you might have seen him as an American Idol auditioner, singing "If I Were a Rich Man" to a group of astonished judges. Anyway, there he is, looking much more muscular (at least from the shoulders up), with a better haircut and a title as "Founder of JQY (Jewish Queer Youth group)," which apparently has no website, and of which I hadn't heard until this very moment. Here's what he's got to say:

I think for a very long time I felt -- at least for me -- I had no history or context. I think that in general, growing up and coming out really early, like I did in yeshiva, it was just Mordechai Levovitz. I was the crazy Mordechai Levovitz who was different, who was gay -- [though] they would never use the word "gay" of course. The problem was almost named Mordechai Levovitz, I was the diagnosis. And all of a sudden, there's this film coming out, a movie that people are going to go to and talk about, and it wasn't just me anymore.
Those who know him will probably have comments on this. Those who don't know him...shouldn't read too much into it.
UPDATE: He's got more to say later on in the film:
The film started our history. It proved the power of not just living, but living and being accounted for. Knowing that we can give something back to our community, give something back by being who we are.
UPDATE: Reader D sends us to some student bios that include...
Mordechai Levovitz

Mordechai, max, mordy, brunhilda, or whatever you choose to call him, grew up in brookline mass and moved to lawrence new york when he was about eleven. In lawrence mordechai has grown to enjoy the fur coats, enormous feather hats, and globs of makeup that the local yentas find it necessary to wear on their way to buy milk at the seven eleven. did I mention that mordechai also despises generalizations of any sort. anyway, after surviving a right wing fundamentalist jewish private highschool, and two years in yeshiva university, mordechai decided to focus his cognitive energy on the more meaningful aspects of life.....namely, RUPAUL. Consequently, he transferred to QUEENS college, where graduated with a degree in philosophy and psychology. at queens mordechai was elected a student senator, chairman of the minority affairs committee, and a member of the campus hillel, black student union, muslim student association, glbt club, and the jewish student union. during his last two years of college mordechai also became a certified rape crisis advocate at Bellevue hospital. he plans to spend the next six years thnking about what he wants to do with his life, and hopefully get an md on the side. Mordechai's trusty sidekicks are his blue buick named Ned and his cell phone named shminky. Mordechai happily invites all of you to come and visit/study/party/drink at his new cottage/bungalo in old stonybrook (its right by the beach!). last but not least, if I say so myself (about myself no less) mordechai is the most fabulous person I know!
ANOTHER UPDATE: Reader David has found JQY's website.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 9:33 PM |
 

Jacob Neusner, possibly the most prolific Jew of all time (at least in terms of number of books) opines in today's Jerusalem Post about the non-education of today's rabbis.

If practicing physicians knew as much about current learning in medicine as practicing rabbis know about current learning in the sources of Judaism, they would still be using leeches to bleed patients, and penicillin would be unknown outside of medical journals unread by physicians.
First of all, if Rabbis were up to date with their scholarship, they'd know just how out of date Neusner's own form-critcial approach to scholarship is. Secondly, as someone in rabbi school as well as in academic school, I can tell you that rabbis are not necessarily in the business of producing the type of scholarship that academics do. You don't need to know, say, higher criticism to help people live a religiously meaningful life through the very same texts that scholars enjoy pulling apart, and failure to pull texts apart does not mean that texts aren't being read in fresh new ways. If you don't believe me, check out a rabbi's sermon book from 50 years ago and one from last year and read them side by side. Still, he does have a point. If Rabbis don't challenge their communities intellectually, they won't ever succeed. I just think that, at least in Orthodox circles, he's ignoring whats there to make his own point, which misses the real point. (Thanks for the link, Avi)

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 6:31 PM |
 

Just received a preview copy of the Trembling Before G-d DVD, which will be released on the 21st and about which I'll be writing some stuff. More on this later. You can check out my review and part one of my interview with the director from back in the day; part two was in an issue that did not get posted, and Jewsweek's archives don't go back far enough to have the parts they published.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:22 AM |


Tuesday, October 07, 2003  

If you haven't been reading Dani's blog, you should check it out now. First, there's a thoughtful post on Yom Kippur:

i decided to spend the day loving G-d, judaism, davening, life... basically saying, yeah i screwed up a lot. a hell of a lot. but i can't fix it alone. You have to step in and help me, and then we can start making my life more like it should have been already. so if i get myself in gear and You start pitching in, we can get something going... i love You. that kind of stuff.
Personally, I spent all of Y"K trying to move beyond the "please don't smite me" part, so I can definitely relate. Also, you can read her letter explaining why she's not in Stern anymore.

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 11:34 PM |
 

Arafat has suffered heart attack, admits aide. Um, too bad?

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 10:02 PM |
 

Mesora Guy seems to have recruited Rabbi Ruben Gober (a former highschool and gush classmate of mine) to write him some articles. His most recent effort deals with acseticism and Yom Kippur. He basically argues that they have nothing to do with each other. I'm not so sure I agree, but his overall point is interesting, if overtly Chait-onian. Anyway, I managed to avoid any undue suffering this year by wearing my Rock River Sport Sandals.

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 4:45 PM |
 

For those who woke up five minutes ago and wondered, The Shir haShirim Challenge seems to have not made it very far. Not that it wasn't a good idea...

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 4:16 PM |
 

Hmmm...

3 p.m. -- Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz joins Crown Heights residents to denounce Yom Kippur tire slashings; Crown Heights Community Council, 387 Kingston Ave., between Montgomery and Crown, Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
Here's the NY1 story, which says that "police are calling it a possible bias crime," and then there are these great quotes:
“People who do it, they're totally misguided,” said a man who lives in the neighborhood. “They have no positive direction in life, and it's time that they should consult the books and find out what they should be doing.”
“It's a sad thing for someone to come and do something like that,” said another resident.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 1:19 PM |
 

Since many people visiting Protocols have no familiarity with the blogosphere, I often am asked just what a blog is. Now I can just refer those questions to the answer provided by the leader of the free world, or, well, provided by his flacks.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:58 AM |
 

Today in Washington Heights:

4 p.m. -- Parks department officials join New York Giants and Jets players to celebrate a $10,000 donation to Highbridge Recreation Center, Amsterdam Avenue and West 173rd Street.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:55 AM |
 

Yuter finds an eMezuzah availible for download. Wouldn't it be funny if it turned out to be spyware?

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 11:28 AM |


Monday, October 06, 2003  

How significant is the impact of Yom Kippur in New York City? Today was the first time I've seen the AP's NYC Night Schedule have absolutely no listings.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 11:41 PM |
 

Didn't get around to blogging this pre-Yom Tov, but today's 1:00 PM episode of Law & Order was about the Crown Heights riots:

Monday, October 6th @ 1pm(ET)
"Sanctuary" TV-14-L, DVS, CC
Racial riots result from a Jewish motorist accidentally running down a black youth.
So those staying home from shul had some entertainment.

posted by Steven I. Weiss | 9:14 PM |


Sunday, October 05, 2003  

Gmar Chasima Tova everyone.

posted by Anonymous | 3:43 PM |
 

Gemar Chatimah Tovah

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 2:50 PM |
 

So to preempt Steve with a Yom Kippur Senryu of my own - from personal experience of course:


Boring white sneakers?
Buy bright yellow shoelaces
And wow Kol Nidrey.
(ss)

posted by Anonymous | 2:29 PM |
 

Now that morning selichos are done with for another year, I thinks its about time to chime in. My personal favorites are the 13 midot one from last Thursday, if for no other reason than that it always gives me chills during ne'ilah, and the one based on mishnaic damage law (4 avot neziqin) from Wednesday, I think. The author of that one definitely was a few centuries before his time -- he'd have gone over real well in today's halakhic man universe. Of course, how can we discuss poetry without bringing up some modern parallels?

Laura Bush told a gathering at the U.S. Library of Congress marking a weekend celebration of books in the nation's capital that her husband had written the poem while she was away in Russia this week and had presented it to her on her return on Thursday.
'Dear Laura,' the poem began, 'Roses are red, violets are blue, oh my lump in the bed, I miss you.
'The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier, next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.'

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 10:35 AM |
 

Yeah, so according to the Sunday Styles section, Yordim are the new black...

posted by Anonymous | 9:48 AM |
 

Times article on universities spending truckloads for student comfort.

Some select quotes:

""These are not frills," said Daniel M. Fogel, president of the University of Vermont. "They are absolute necessities."

The University of Vermont plans to spend up to $70 million on a new student center, a colossal complex with a pub, a ballroom, a theater, an artificial pond for wintertime skating and views of the mountains and Lake Champlain.

By today's standards, Mr. Fogel said, that is rather modest."


Another:

"Students now get massages, pedicures and manicures at the University of Wisconsin in Oshkosh, while Washington State University boasts of having the largest Jacuzzi on the West Coast. It holds 53 people. "

and, to sum it up:


Last year, the University of Rhode Island opened a $54 million sports complex with luxury boxes and a skating rink that is open 15 hours a day. As Linda A. Acciardo, a university spokeswoman, put it: "People don't give to institutions that look like they need money. They give to institutions they are proud to be associated with."


Sigh. I wonder if Richard Joel reads the Times. This sounds like the sort of sentiment I'd like to hear from the Yeshiva bigshots. How about it - we could build the biggest, cleanest college campus men's mikvah in the country. Now THAT would be a draw.

posted by Anonymous | 9:16 AM |
 

Just when you thought that religous fights couldn't get any more inane:

A Cape Town NG Church congregation is up in arms over suggestions that their church's steeple is a phallic and occult symbol.
In a letter to the church's council, Cobie Swart, the wife of minister Chris Swart, described the steeple as an image of a male's sex organs, which had 'sexual relations with the goddess of the sky'.

posted by Voice From The Hinterlands | 2:28 AM |
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